As I stepped to the edge of the double decker barge and looked down, all I could focus on was the negative outcome. I was high up and while the jump looked fun I could see a slew of problems occur including my top falling down, my ears plugging up or me struggling to get back above water. You see, I’ve never been a good swimmer but I haven’t ever let it hold me back. So why should I allow a silly jump to have any power over me? With a few more minutes, I resolved to jump without looking down first. If I didn’t see how high I was, I couldn’t focus on the fear.
That got me thinking. I’ve had an amazing Summer so far. One of the best of my life and I still have many more months to come. All of it is because I took a leap of faith in some way or another. This includes ziplining with friends when I barely made the weight limit and going on an anniversary trip with my husband when we really didn’t have the funds to cover it. Both turned out to be so rewarding. I’ve always been super cautious. I want to make sure I know the full details of something before I get involved but I know that often tends to hold me back. I honestly think that for the first time in years I’ve been able to fully relax and go with the flow of life. I’ve been facing my fears and ignoring my doubts this Summer and it’s really paying off, despite the sunburn.
Today was no exception. First of all, I have a huge fear of being in water where I can’t see around me. It concerns me to think about all of the weird little critters that could be hanging out around my dangling legs. But today I swam with ducks and had a great time relaxing in water that was the perfect temperature. Not to mention, being in a swimsuit around co-workers. That was an bold move as well. I certainly have more curves than the rest. I also drove a wave runner today. Maybe that doesn’t sound like a big deal to you but remember, I’m miss safety. It took me a while to accelerate over 10mph but when I did, I had a great time. I did get lost for a while, freak out and have a cry but it all worked out in the end and I don’t regret doing it.
Here’s my point, as a plus size woman it is so easy to be overly careful about what we do. We’re afraid we’ll be gawked at when we wear a swimsuit in public, we’re scared we won’t be able to do something because of our size or we’ll be judged. I’m challenging you to throw these fears away have the best Summer of your life! Take the jump without looking down to see how far up you are and do things you think you can’t do or you feel you’ll be held back from doing. We only have one life and we deserve to live it just like everyone else.
Thank you to Martha Iglehart for the great photos.