When You’re Not Healthy

Photo by Lucky Locket Photography

Photo by: Lucky Locket Photography

I think it’s pretty obvious I love the body positive moment. It’s basically what this whole blog centers around. I love that women are forming a community to build each other up, when we’ve been so often encouraged to do the exact opposite. My number one goal is to love the body I’m in, no matter what size. Why? Because I know its struggles and its victories; I know its beauty and its flaws. If I can’t find value in it after all it’s done for me, then I am completely missing its purpose.

I’ve always felt that if you’re a plus size women, you’re happy and you’re healthy, then there’s no need to change unless you want to. But what about the moment you realize you’re plus size and you’re happy but you aren’t healthy? That’s the reality that hit me this past Monday morning. A reality I just wasn’t ready for.

I recently shared with you that I’ve had trouble getting pregnant. As I’ve gone through month after month of disappointment, I’ve started comparing what is different about my body now from the first time I conceived. The main thing that stood out was my weight. I’m 40 lbs heavier and that’s a pretty big difference. I started wondering if that was my main hangup so I decided to schedule an appointment with my OBGYN. As I rambled off some weird symptoms I’ve been experiencing recently, she decided to run some lab tests and get to the root of the problem. I didn’t know what all of these tests included but I was happy someone was taking the time to crack the code and see what the issue was. She also reassured me that my weight was most likely not keeping me from becoming pregnant again.

When I got the routine call Monday morning to hear my lab results, I expected a overview of my results, all ending with an all clear. You see, these things are pretty fast so when the nurse asked if I had a minute, worry hit me like a ton of bricks. After listening to a bunch of medical gobbledegook, I was able to pull a summary from it all. It contained the first warning signs of something much bigger if I didn’t nip it in the bud right away. Basically I learned:

  • I have too much fat in my diet
  • It is effecting my cholesterol in a negative way
  • I need to change my diet and exercise more if I want to help this issue
  • I’m vitamin D deficient

Cholesterol. Last time I checked, that was an issue seniors dealt with not a 29-year-old woman with her whole life ahead of her. If I’m happen problems now, what does that say about my future? The news terrified me. Needless to say, I’m thankful my doctor ordered those tests and I have the information I need to fix things now. What if I had gone on not knowing what serious repercussions would follow my ignorance?

So, for now I’m eating low carb, sugar and dairy. Oh, and I’m exercising as much as I can with a packed, unpredictable schedule. I won’t lie to you, right now it’s a struggle. Every move I make is completely intentional with the hopes that my health will get better over time. The thing is, yeah, I’m plus size and I’m happy but I’m not healthy. I have to make changes whether I like it or not.

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