Oh boy, where do I even start with this? This subject is such a huge struggle in my life right now. It packs a lot of baggage with it and I want to do my best to reveal it all to you with the hopes that if binging is a little too close to you as well, this article could help. Habits, we all have them. Some are good and some are oh so bad. For some people, their bad habits don’t have any physical consequences. They are easy to hide, to tuck away and pretend that they don’t exist. But then there are the habits that are really easy to spot because they manifest themselves physically. These are the ones that can be a magnet attracting judgment from others. This is where my bad habit thrives, on my body for everyone to see.
Now let me start with a disclaimer before we get any further. I’m a plus size woman and my weight has come from a number of different factors. This goes for all people who are plus size. There are many reasons they have a certain amount of body weight, including the reason that some people are just happy with who they are. In no way am I about to say that binge eating is the reason why most overweight people are struggling because that is 100% not true. In my personal situation, that is one of my problems but please don’t generalize this for anyone else. Okay, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s continue. Let’s start with a quick trip to the past. Four years ago my life changed and I had no idea what was coming for me. My daughter entered the world with a surprise c-section that I was in no way prepared for. I was already a plus size woman before becoming pregnant but I was definitely on the small side of the spectrum. But with the pregnancy came obvious weight gain and the pounds only packed on from there. I think it’s safe to say that my body took the surgery really hard. I didn’t recover well and I was definitely overwhelmed. I had problems nursing and was in complete pain. That combined with basically no sleep created a perfect storm. Then came postpartum depression. I’ve always been an emotional eater but with my life suddenly becoming a complete whirlwind I was full on binge eating. It makes sense when I look back. Half the time I was scarfing down my food due to trying to eat before the baby’s crying escalated. I wasn’t able to listen to my body and see if it was full. Before I knew it I had gained more weight than what I had gotten during pregnancy. I wasn’t burning calories with nursing since my daughter didn’t want to and I never could figure out how to make time for exercise with parenting and a full time job. Within a couple of months I had become the biggest weight I have ever been. I was never able to lose it but I’ve spent years making peace with that. That was until my husband and I decided to have another child.