Just months ago I shared with you all my struggle to once again build our family in Fears, Tears and Pregnancy Woes. By that time we had been trying to conceive for several months with no success and since much wasn’t different from the previous pregnancy, I had begun to contemplate if the extra weight I had gained was the culprit. After visiting my OBGYN, I learned that wasn’t at all what was going on. I just needed more time. Little did I know that in two months time everything would change.
Ladies, let me stop right here and tell you, if you have a doctor that currently addresses your weight and makes you feel uncomfortable about it, get a new one. I’ve had doctors like that who don’t understand the constant struggles that come with it all. I’ve dumped them immediately. My OBGYN is so supportive and never mentions my weight as a problem factor. Instead, she presents practical solutions to help with whatever is going on, even if it’s for me to change my diet so I can get my cholesterol down. Weight is never directly addressed and that makes me feel so respected and cared for by her. Find yourself a doctor that makes you feel the same way.
In early June, I found out I was pregnant. I’ve waited a few months to announce the news to make sure baby is healthy. I had a slight scare last week when I began spotting at 14 weeks. I was luckily assured that nothing looked unusual and was put on pelvic rest meaning no sex or exercise for a week. I am extremely excited for our new adventures with the baby and in October we will find out the gender. However, because I am much heavier than I was in the first pregnancy, I am trying to be more aware of my body.
While I don’t always do a great job, I’m trying to maintain a healthy diet with low sugar. I’ve been craving Asian food like crazy so carbs have been a challenge but the morning sickness has kept me from overeating. I’ve also been trying to make a point to exercise more, even though I’m insanely tired. That is, until I was put on temporary pelvic rest this week. I used to hate exercising but believe it or not, I’m more than ready to get back to it. I’ve finally gotten into a habit that my body craves. (Never thought I’d say that!) My goal is to not gain pregnancy weight due to me being reckless this time around. This pregnancy will be more controlled so that I can actually fit into my wardrobe when it’s all said and done. I plan to track any successes I have so that you all can keep it handy in case you find yourselves in the same boat.
I’m looking forward to this new adventure going in with more knowledge than I’ve had before. I hope it will be a time for redemption where I can truly give my body the TlC it needs.
It’s happened to me for years and I know I’m not alone. Lately, I’ve been pretty open with my need to lose weight due to doctor’s orders. It’s funny how people feel this overwhelming need to give you unsolicited advice when you share something like that with them. I have a few friends that are happy standing on the sidelines but, for the most part, I’ve found the majority of people that have heard my recent news are full of weight loss tips I never asked for.
Here’s the thing, I don’t mind advice. I love getting help from all sorts of different sources so that I can make the most educated decisions possible. However, I’d prefer to ask for the advice. Over time I’ve learned that for some reason people assume that if you’re overweight, it’s because you don’t know how to live healthy or lose the weight. This stereotype is so frustrating and it’s absolutely not true. I know how to lose weight- eat right and exercise- it’s that simple. It’s just I don’t want to put in the major commitment it takes. I’m a busy woman and don’t have a lot of time on my hands. That’s my personal reason for my current weight and I know many of you out there have your own battles with health issues that come into the mix.
I will never forget this moment, mainly because it was absolutely devastating at the time. I was at my step-brother’s funeral. He died young and we were very close. I was an absolute train wreck. A couple of aunts from his side of the family came up to me at one point and started feeling my belly. I told them that I wasn’t pregnant and instead of apologizing, the went on to give my weight loss tips. Frankly, I’m surprised I didn’t spontaneously combust.
Friends of plus size women, do us a favor and don’t give us your thoughts unless we ask. There’s a good chance we know what’s going on but there are more factors to the situation that you simply don’t understand.
It’s a fear. Not one that I usually have. In fact, I’ve never really had a fear like this but I can’t ignore it. It creeps in every month around the same time. I know what I need to do but it’s nagging me. Maybe if I just try one more month I won’t have to face it. Maybe there are more solutions I’m not aware of yet. And still I wonder how many more months I’ll let pass with these small hopes until I run out of time.
My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for several months now. With our daughter, it was easy. It didn’t take much for her to join our world but this time it’s different and I don’t understand why. A good six months or more have passed with no reward and I’m beginning to wonder what’s wrong. To top it off, my daughter’s constantly asking for a sibling or telling random strangers that she has a brother or a sister. I feel this invisible clock ticking louder and louder likes it’s going to off in a huge explosion any moment. My daughter’s three-years-old and I don’t want her to be too much older than her sibling. I want them to play together well but all those desires are nothing with an empty womb.
I know it’s all in my head and I’m being dramatic. Perhaps you’re thinking that I’m putting too much worry into this. I probably am but I can’t get rid of this anxiety. I feel like I have this narrow window of time and I’m not going to make it. There’s nothing more defeating than feeling like your body isn’t able. I’ve held in the tears month after month when I’ve discovered all my efforts were for naught. And so the solution of visiting the doctor comes from my husband each time he sees me slip into a depression. But I can’t go to the doctor, I know what they’ll say and I don’t want to hear it.
You see, there’s one big difference from my body before my daughter and my body after– about 40 pounds. That’s a lot of extra weight when you’re thinking about your health. Don’t get me wrong, I’m completely body positive but I feel loving your body includes taking care of it. Sometimes that means making better choices. I’m scared my new weight is a factor in all of this and the fact that I haven’t been able to drop it in 3 years is completely discouraging. I don’t know if I can do what it takes to turn things around but maybe this is the motivation I need to get back in the healthy zone. Since my weight gain I’ve gotten sleep apnea, neck tags and aches and pains. To me, those are little warning signs that I need to address my weight for the right reason, not my vanity but my health.
I know a lot of plus size women have gotten pregnant and that I may be overthinking this all but I also know that every body is different. Mine may not be as resilient. So now comes the question, will I face my fear?